Crazy morning

So I wake up Friday morning, late for work as usual, and I race to take a shower, get dressed, and get out of the house drinking some type of caffeinated beverage. After a long conversation over the internet with my buddy, I finally get ready to go when I get a new e-mail. It’s from this person I’m selling a 1987 Pontiac Trans-am to over for $1900. They tell me they have sent me Postal Money Orders via UPS in the amount of $3800. I am further instructed to cash them, and send $1800 to an “auto shipper” in Orlando via Western Union. I walk out the door, and there it is, a UPS sticker indicating that the package is at the office of my apartment complex. I jump in my truck, and anxiously cruise faster than normal toward the office, when suddenly I catch a glimpse of bright pink in the corner of my eye. I slow down, and I see a three year old girl with a pink sweat suit standing alone in the middle of the street. I don’t know what I thought was worse, the fact that a parent would allow such a thing to happen, or the fact that a passing car merely swerved around her as if she was a lifeless obstacle. I, being the hero that I am, got out of my car and proceeded to walk toward the little girl. At first I was going to try and goo-goo ga-ga her, but I didn’t want to come across as a weirdo if anybody came out and saw me. So I decided to walk calmly toward her with an expressionless face, which scared the living shit out of her. However, terrorizing her had a positive effect. She ran straight home and I was spared having to knock on several doors before finding the rightful owner of this child. I give her a big smile as I reach her desperately trying to open the door to an apartment. “Where’s your mommy? Is your mommy home?” I ask with a Cheshire cat smile. “My daddy” she says smiling back. I crack the door open and say “Hello?”. Suddenly, a small rumble slowly grows louder as a large black dog comes into sight at the top of the stairs. The dog creeps slowly down step by step, snarling at me as I hold this little girl by the arm. Then, as if she recognized the dog, the little girl pushed on the door to walk inside, but I quickly restrained her from opening the door so I don’t get attacked by the dog. “Wait! What am I dong to this little girl” I think to myself as I keep her from going inside. For a brief moment, I ready myself to shove her in and quickly slam the door closed. However, if she chose the wrong house and didn’t even know the doggy, that might not end well. “YO!” I scream as a man finally appears. “GET INSIDE!” he screams at the little girl, and she finally breaks down screaming and crying as he approaches me at the front door. “I was just passing by and she was there in the street” I explain to the man. Shocked, he shakes my hand and thanks me. I tell him “have a nice day asshole”, but leave the asshole part out, and go to the office. Inside the UPS envelope there are four Postal Money Orders. “Great!” I think to myself, “good as gold”. So I go to my bank and walk up to the teller inside. I hand her the four money orders and ask her how I deposit them. “Do you know the people who gave these to you” she asks. “No” I tell her, “they’re from a person Im selling a car to online”. She asks me to sit in the lobby while she checks on them. I sit down and watch her through the glass cubicle. Eventually another person shows up, and then another, and then a woman comes out and says “you didn’t sell the car yet, did you?” They were fake money orders, and thanks to the folks at my bank, I was not victimized by a scam. After filing with the FBI and the Postal inspector, I finally made it to work. Walking to my desk I hear “DAMN BOY! BOUT TIME YOU MADE IT “. I tried to tell him the whole story, but he said I was full of shit. It was a crazy morning.

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